Spacious Script Logotype

Scott Biersack
Scott Biersack Posts: 76
in Lettering Critiques
Hey guys!

Back again in search of guidance, feedback, and as always, a 2nd pair of eyes on this logotype I'm working on. Inspired by chrome automobile script lettering to feel reminiscent of the 60's era. The letterform construction, angles, and even spacing are all done with speed/motion in mind. Really wanted to evoke that organic handwritten feel.

With that said, the "t" exit stroke kind of bothers me for some reason and I'm also considering rounding out the counter of the "a" in "Ball"...I think it works currently but curious what others think. 

Thanks in advance for taking a look!


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Comments

  • Adam Ladd
    Adam Ladd Posts: 264
    edited October 2018
    the "t" exit stroke kind of bothers me for some reason
    The exit strokes of the other words with the /e and /l both curl upwards, I imagine you may have tried it, but can you give a slight curl to the /t as well (perhaps not too much as it may cause tension or feel closed off with the crossbar of the /t if it gets too close to it)?
  • Adam Ladd
    Adam Ladd Posts: 264
    edited October 2018
    Looking further at it as a whole, I like it overall and the feel. Though to me the /M feels darker than the /B. Might be because of the thick stroke on the left bottom of the /M. The linking stroke between the cap letter and the second letter in those two words are pretty different as well (I understand the flow to the next shape may require that). Maybe you could add a little more thickness to the bottom parts of the /B.
  • AbiRasheed
    AbiRasheed Posts: 238
    edited October 2018
    I agree with Adam about the terminal in 't' but if you're looking for this to have a hand-drawn effect then I think it's on point to have a terminal the way it is now. I've done this with a brushpen for 't' and 'l' occasionally where it appears to have a stroke in motion sort of effect, almost calligraffiti like. And again, completely unrelated but I still get a chuckle reading out your last name loudly. You gotta have a beer tummy for this.
  • Adam Ladd
    Adam Ladd Posts: 264
    The /e in "the" feels like a font because it doesn't have a flowing connection from the /h like the others. Try linking the /h to the loop of the /e like /M/e.

    The tops of the /l's are quite a bit more round than similar linking loops for other ascenders. Should they be squared off a bit?
  • Jasper de Waard
    Jasper de Waard Posts: 641
    Really like it. Also the quirky t works for me. If anything, mayne tbe two a's and l's lookalike a tad too much.
  • Johannes Neumeier
    Johannes Neumeier Posts: 380
    It bothers me that one e is continued into the loop from the end stroke whereas the other e has a brush lift to form the loop. Also I'd make the e counters a bit bigger, compared to the a. e & a in the top and a in the bottom line look like they are having to stretch too much space, make them bigger or wider altogether?
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Adam Ladd appreciate the awesome feedback, my dude! I completely agree about the _t_ exit stroke. Having just a slight curl would probably help it fit in just a tad more. But I do also agree with @AbiRasheed ...I think it just needs a happy middle ground. A slight curl but not too much ;)
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @AbiRasheed
    hahah I've heard ALL the nicknames. Especially in high school. No beer tummy for me!
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Jasper de Waard
    cheers dude! Yeah I definitely agree. Gotta work on tweakin' those.
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Johannes Neumeier
    good eye! I didn't see that until you pointed it out. Will certainly be exploring those things further! Thanks so much!
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    Here's an updated logotype after the glorious feedback from you guys and others. Feeling MUCH better. Any last minute thoughts are always welcome!
  • AbiRasheed
    AbiRasheed Posts: 238
    edited October 2018
    I think it looked fine before and still does with the current changes made to 't' and 'a', etc. From what I can tell nothing was broken to begin with. Your second iteration looks more polished but the first staying true to how we write with a brushpen. 
  • Matthew Smith
    Matthew Smith Posts: 90
    Scott! Here's some feedback for ya. I also attached a PDF version below.



  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Matthew Smith
    <3 this feedback dude! Thanks for the thorough write-up! 
  • Johannes Neumeier
    Johannes Neumeier Posts: 380
    Still the glaring difference in the e'd bugs me. Also the stem in the a being so different. Maybe both issues are because I am a type designer and not a lettering artist, but to me these details feel just a tad too irregular.

    e counters work a lot better. Agree with @Matthew Smith, especially the point about B’s width.

  • Adam Ladd
    Adam Ladd Posts: 264
    Yes, agree with Johannes about the /e connection. Seems like the second /e should flow from the /h into the loop (like the /Me connection) rather than the backside of the letter.

    Also agree about how different the /a's are. Maybe not so extreme? You could maybe either bring the stem of the first /a up, or push the stem of the second /a down a little while still retaining some hand drawn irregularity look.

    For the handwritten look, I personally like the first /a better, primarily with the way the curve/counter butts into the stem. The second /a joint feels too "perfect" with the smooth joining of the counter curve into the stem.
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Johannes Neumeier
    Appreciate the feedback regardless! I myself am the opposite, more of a lettering artist than a type designer and honestly, it could probably go either way. I'll explore some more.
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Adam Ladd
    Good points on those "a's" especially! Agree it felt too perfect. Going to rework a bit! Thanks again for the feedback!
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    Hey friends, 
    Client went in a different direction and we've begun again from the ground up! Here's the newly approved logotype. I'm wanting it to still have that brushy, organic and natural approach so I left in some of those nuances in the vector. Would love some eyeballs if you have a moment!

    Thanks so much 

  • Craig Eliason
    Craig Eliason Posts: 1,440
    This is much more characterful and appealing, I think.
    Some of the strokes in THE (particularly the verticals of H) look a bit cut-and-paste.
    I think the two l's at the end should look a little more like each other in height and/or thickness, and maybe add more of a hint of loopiness to them. Reads a bit like Meat the BaU. 
  • Cory Maylett
    Cory Maylett Posts: 248
    edited November 2018
    I agree with Craig Eliason, it reads as Meat the BaU. A little more loop in the two l's should fix it. I do like the meatier look, though, if you're going for a personality more befitting of meat balls.
  • Scott Biersack
    Scott Biersack Posts: 76
    @Craig Eliason @Cory Maylett

    thanks for taking a peek! Totally agree about your comments. Didn't see that until you pointed it out. And yeah, I agree I think this direction is much stronger and fits the brand a bit better after some discussion. 

    Thanks again for the help!

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