Designing my comic title, would appreciate any insights

Hi! I'm a comic artist and want to give our comics title a facelift.
I think I'm up to the challenge but haven't really gotten things to click together yet.

First Here is more or less what we already have

The titling font is currently first order. So it's the name to beat. It more or less communicates the aesthetics of the comic, which is urban fantasy.

here was my first attempt

which I didnt feel was really syncing. properly. 
Second attempt which I think is going in the right direction but isnt all there is
http://cnrhus.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Cover2.png

Thoughts? Any ideas on good ways to replicate the dots of the original font? I'm having trouble melding that element between styles.
Any suggestions/crits welcome. thanks!

Also the two logos without the cover



Comments

  • My 2 cents: ask a type designer / lettering artist to polish it. 
  • Thomas PhinneyThomas Phinney Posts: 1,037
    Although I can’t disagree with Ramiro, I would also say you are making progress and generally things are improving in each draft.

    The original logo said “fantasy” but nothing “urban.” The dots felt arbitrary and gratuitous, not part of the design. Add-on dots with a calligraphic design like this generally yell “faux Arabic” which is both out of place and considered offensive by some, so ditching them was good—don’t bring them back.

    Your latest draft is getting there. I suspect your largest remaining issue is the W, which has too many angles and no curves. The right side melds nicely with the following h, but the left side could have some curves somewhere.
  • red36red36 Posts: 2
    Thanks guys! 
    While getting an expert on board would always be best-- alas the project is stuck with me.
    Thomas: appreciate those insights. Initially the draw of the dots was it's reminiscence to the script of Lord of the rings etc. I agree in that it was fantasy, but not urban.
    I took your advice about the curvature on the w as well as tried to curve the edges of any points to evoke a slightly more earthy/handmade aesthetic.

    http://cnrhus.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/logo5.png

    It won't be winning any prizes around here certainly, but we're happy with it. Thanks for the help! 
  • James PuckettJames Puckett Posts: 1,550
    I like #2 better. It just works better without the dots, which clutter up the layout. Either way redraw the W entirely. I lacks lacks the chirographic feel of the other letters, and that’s not something you can fix with a few tweaks. Give up on the vertical treatment, do something big and lively like you did with A.
  • The apparent rising of the baseline in Ash feels arbitrary, and the shoulders of the h’s get too thick. 
  • Thomas PhinneyThomas Phinney Posts: 1,037
    Agree with James on the W. It needs way more than the tweak you did last!
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