Wooden Walls lettering

Hi everyone, 

I'm working on some lettering for a client, and would be much obliged to receive some critique. 

Quick introduction, as I'm new here: I'm Duncan, I live in Newfoundland on the east coast of Canada. I worked many (teenage) years as a printer's devil, now a letterpress printer and a graphic designer, but have no formal training, have never designed a typeface, and am pretty new to custom lettering. I'm working on training my eye by staring at specimens, watching tutorials, practicing and looking through forums (happy to have found this one!).

Some brief background on the name:
In 19th century St. John's, Newfoundland, wooden-hulled, steam-powered schooners filled the harbour, and were known as "wooden walls". To design the lettering for the client, I looked to roundhand, because the contrast, pen feel and wave-like flourishing seemed to embody the feeling of being at sea. 

Welcoming any and all feedback! In particular I've been unsure about the size of the /W, the terminals in the /W, the form of the /s, the form of the upstrokes, how the /n plays into the composition, and the weight placement in the flourishes, and basically everything else. 

Thank you.
Duncan

Comments

  • Very nice. The only quibble I would have is the spacing. Compare /den (too tight) to /all (too loose), that's where some adjustment is needed in both cases, in my view.
  • the s is suboptimal

  • Agree with James. That 's' could too easily be seen as a swash rather than a letter. I read Wooden Wall. 
  • Thanks everyone. I was wondering about a more traditional s with a swash extending from it, maybe I'll give that a go. I see the spacing issues now as well.
  • also the 2 W glyphs appear to be an a different angle than the lowercase
  • Generally, you want to avoid thick crossing thick, as you have happening in the /d/ ascender.
    I also think there's a clash between the main parts of the letters which are very regularized and typographic, and the swashy bits which have an incongruous (and a bit ungraceful) looseness to them. Feels like a font with tacked-on swashes rather than a unified piece of calligraphy. The identical /W/s, /o/s, and /l/s read as inorganic.
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